. . . as usual. Things with the Mr. are weird again . . . as usual. We haven't spent much time together, since he's busy with school and work; when we are together, we're watching TV at separate ends of the couch (or bed). I've tried asking him about his day and getting him to open up more. It's typically one-sided, as he never asks me about mine. As I mentioned before, this is supposed to be a happy time for us. I fight off tears constantly, and, NO, it's not due to mood swings. I haven't been bonding with our LO very much, because I don't want him to think poorly of me.
Yesterday, I told him he'd neglected his duty of taking weekly belly photos (I'm 16 weeks and the last photo was taken around 7 or 8 weeks). He, in turn, told me I'd neglected my duty. I suppose he's referring to intimacy, however, who wants to be intimate with someone who doesn't talk to you or ask how your day went. I've heard actions speak louder than words, and guess I should be happy he does dishes, grocery shops, laundry (only his though), cat boxes and other things. I just can't get past the fact that there's little to no conversation! He has tons to say to his friends on Facebook, Google+, Skype and Twitter. Hell, I can't prove it though, because I can't see any of his posts! But, I digress.
I'm so lonely! What's worse is I have seemingly no one to talk to. I can't tell if depression is setting in, or if I'm just stuck in a rut. Whatever it is, I pray it doesn't harm our LO. If I'd known he was going to be such a poo-poo head and sleep on the couch last night, I would have set my alarm an hour earlier, so I could have gone running. Maybe that's what's happening. I haven't been running (or exercising) much. Perhaps I'm seriously lacking endorphins. I have a 1/2 marathon coming up next Sunday, so I guess I'd better "get to work." I haven't really run a step all year besides up and down the halls and stairs of Coastal. I bought an exercise DVD, but the PS3 was gone for a bit. It's been back nearly a month now, but we haven't used it. I think I'll stick to the elliptical and stationary bike this week. I'd hate to start something new and compromise my race shape (ha!).
That's all for now. I will try to check in more regularly. Perhaps I'll set a blog alarm. "Yeah . . . that's the ticket!"
Kay Dub is a 38 year old stay at home mother of 3 fur babies, a preschooler and a toddler. An avid runner, marathon mom, fitness buff and triathlete in training, her most challenging goal is becoming a Proverbs 31 woman and "Wife After God".