. . .to expect someone who grew up with a different family dynamic to not only want the same things that you do, but actually care enough to make those things happen. How does watching football hold more value than finding a home church? How does one justify sitting on the couch and staring at your phone while your rapidly unraveling wife literally begs for peace so she can eat after you and your children have already eaten (and only step in to help out after she snaps, jumps up from the table and heads to the bedroom to pack her bags for the trip down south she's weeks overdue for, but still hasn't been able to make, because you can't seem to help her out by covering parental duty with your school-aged child)? How does one leave their family -- albeit for just hours, but with no notice -- without realizing how hurt and, I hate to say it, but disrespected it makes your wife feel?
Your wife watched both of her parents die in 3 months. She loved her parents, spoke to them at least weekly and actually made an effort to maintain these relationships in spite of the distance between them. They both died in their early 60's, leaving her to wonder about her own life expectancy. How does one continue to expect the same things from their life partner after she recently suffered such devastating and crippling blows to her life? Could it be because he never cared enough to ask how she is doing? How could you not even ask how you could help? Perhaps, by not asking, you could claim that you had no idea what was going on? Either way, it makes her see you in a light unbecoming of the man she sees herself spending her life with.
Perhaps she was wrong in expecting you to understand in light of your relationship with your family. Maybe, just maybe, she was praying you would tap into the compassion she thought we all had, unless you, like her, had compassion fatigue after years of being in stressful situations. Whatever the reason, your family is not going to make it if things do not change.
Kay Dub is a 38 year old stay at home mother of 3 fur babies, a preschooler and a toddler. An avid runner, marathon mom, fitness buff and triathlete in training, her most challenging goal is becoming a Proverbs 31 woman and "Wife After God".